“It’s in the very depths of winter, at the instant when the sun touches the horizon, that I see the girl on the ferry again.”
Early Memories
The novel opens with the narrator reflecting on her youth in French colonial Indochina. She describes her impoverished family—her emotionally unstable mother, her cruel older brother, and her younger brother, whom she adores. The setting is vividly portrayed, with the heat, poverty, and colonial tensions shaping their lives.
The Ferry Crossing
At 15, the narrator, a French girl, meets a wealthy Chinese businessman on a ferry crossing the Mekong River. Despite their differences in age, race, and social status, they are drawn to each other. Their affair begins soon after, marked by secrecy and societal disapproval.
The Forbidden Relationship
The lovers meet in a rented apartment in Saigon, where their passion unfolds amid the oppressive colonial atmosphere. The narrator’s family is aware of the affair but tolerates it for financial gain, as the man provides money to support them. The relationship is both tender and transactional.
Family Tensions
The narrator’s older brother resents her relationship and the Chinese man, displaying violent jealousy. Her mother, though dependent on the man’s money, is conflicted—disapproving yet complicit. The younger brother remains a silent, tragic figure, caught in the family’s dysfunction.
The End of the Affair
Eventually, the Chinese man’s father forbids him from marrying a white girl, forcing their separation. The narrator leaves for France, and their love dissolves into memory. Years later, she learns he married a woman chosen by his family, conforming to societal expectations.
Reflections on Time and Memory
The novel shifts between past and present, blending autobiography and fiction. The narrator revisits her youth with a detached yet poetic voice, questioning the nature of desire, loss, and identity. The story lingers on the fleeting intensity of first love and its lasting imprint.
Key Ideas
- Colonialism’s impact on personal and cultural identity
- The intersection of love, power, and exploitation
- Memory as a fragmented, unreliable force
- Family dysfunction and emotional survival
- The female gaze and autonomy in a patriarchal society
Who should read this book?
- Readers drawn to lyrical, introspective narratives
- Those interested in postcolonial literature
- Fans of autobiographical fiction exploring trauma and desire